Right Kind of Wrong Page 11

“Can we see her?” Mel asks.

  “You guys can see her, but only one at a time.” He says.

  “Xander go, go be with our girl. Get her to come back to us, please!” Mel says sobbing uncontrollably.

  “You sure?”

  She nods her head, I follow the doctor back, and he leads me to Emily’s room.

  “Thank you Doc.” I say to him, he nods his head. I take a deep breath and walk in.

  “Emily, oh my God I’m so sorry.” I say letting go of my tears.

  Her eyes are black and blue, her cheeks are swollen, and she’s got a bloody bandage around her head. There’s so many machines on making noises, she’s got IV coming out of her left arm and a breathing tube down her throat.

  I walk over to her bedside and grab the chair. I grab her right hand and put it in mine. I raise it to my lips and kiss it gently.

  “Emily, please wake up. I am so sorry. I need you to come back to me, back to us. We can’t do this without you.” I say taking a deep breath. “Do you even realize how much I love you? I need you to come back to me. I need to hear your laugh, I need to see your eyes and that smile. Baby come back.” I pour my heart out to her.

  The nurse comes in to check her vitals, “Keep talking to her, it helps them come back to us faster.” She gives me a weak smile.

  “You think she’ll wake up?”

  “If she loves you as much as you love her, I think she will. Keep talking to her.” The nurse pats me on the shoulders and finishes checking her.

  I look at Emily laying there so still, I brush a piece of her hair away from the blood on her bandage. “Em, I need you to wake up for me. I love you. I’ve loved you from the moment I saw you outside my bar that first night. Every day after that my love grew stronger for you. I know I’m so wrong for you and you’re way better than I deserve, but Em, I don’t care. I’m going to love you ’til my last breath, but you have to wake up baby. Please” I put my head on the bed next to her, holding her hand.

  I don’t even know what time it is when I’m woken up by loud sounds coming from her monitors “EMILY!” I shout, within seconds the room is filled with doctors and nurses. “Sir, you need to leave.” A nurse orders me. “No! I’m not leaving.” I shake my head.

  “Sir, you need to leave now!” she shouts. I just stand there shaking my head.

  “EMILY!” I shout again.

  “Someone get him out of here now!” She demands and two male nurses grab my arms and pull me out,

  “NO! Let me stay, Get the fuck off me. I need to stay with her. I don’t want to leave her. NO!” I’m shouting fighting them, pushing them. While they’re pulling me I’m watching them, I’m watching Emily. They have pull her gown down & I hear “Charging!” “Clear!” and they shock her.

  “NO! Emily wake up, you need to wake up and come back to me.” I say shouting and the nurses remove me from her room.

  “I’m sorry, but you have to wait out here.” One the men say. I can’t say anything I just loose it. I can’t even stop the tears.

  “Xander?” I hear Mel’s voice. “No, nooooo!” She cries.

  “I don’t know what happened one minute I’m talking to her and the next I fall asleep and I’m woken up by all these noises. They had to drag me out, Mel. I’m sorry, this is all my fault.”

  “Don’t say that. It’s not your fault! It’s the fucking drunken asshole’s fault. He put her here. Not you!”

  I hold Mel close to me, she and I are crying. We’re not sure what’s going on.

  By now Mel’s mom and dad have arrived and so are some of her sisters/Emily’s cousins. “Her parents will be here in the morning. The earliest flight out is 5am. They’ll be here around 11 am or Noon.” Mel says.

  What seems to be hours, I’m guessing is only maybe twenty minutes when the doctor comes out, “She’s fine for right now, but we’re going to do more tests and another CT scan to make sure we didn’t miss anything.” He trails off. “Can I go back in there?” I ask.

  “Yeah, oh and if she wakes up and asks, let her know the baby didn’t make it. It’s probably best to hear it from the father.”

  “The baby?” I ask the doctor in disbelief and turn to look at Mel.

  “Yeah she was about six weeks along. I’m sorry for your loss. You can go in whenever you’re ready.” And he walks away.

  “What baby?” I growl.

  “She never told you?”

  “No, she didn’t. What baby?”

  “She was pregnant, she just found out a couple of days ago when she went into the doctor.”

  “Was it mine?” I close my eyes and ask.

  “Yeah Xander, it was yours. She was never with anyone but you.”

  “Go see Emily, I need to cool off.” I turn on my heels and walk out of the hospital.

  I’m outside pacing back and forth. “Hey man.” Blake says handing me a cigarette.

  “She was pregnant, with my baby. She came over to my house and told me she loved me and she was begging for us to work and what did I do? I just tossed her out like she was garbage. Blake, this is all my fault. I did this to her.” My voice goes weak.

  “I don’t know what you want me to say here . . .”

  “Give it to me straight.”

  “You’re an asshole. Did you almost kill her or did you kill your baby, no. But you were too busy protecting yourself and pushing her away to realize Emily is probably the best thing that will ever happen to you besides Harlie. So did you do this to her? Yeah, in a way, you did. Now how the fuck are you going to make it right?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe I should just slip out and disappear. Let her parents take her back. Maybe she’s better off.”

  Blake walks straight up to me and slaps me upside the head, “What the fuck?!” I shout.

  “You’re an asshole. You walk away from her, we’re done. Fucking wake up and get your shit together.”

  “She deserves better!” I growl.

  “Maybe, maybe she does, but for whatever reason, she wants you. Now get your shit straight, and go in there and show her she’s worth it. Otherwise just get the fuck out of all our lives.”

  “You’re gonna choose her over me?” I ask.

  “This time, yeah I am.” Blake says and walks away.

  After an hour of sitting outside smoking almost a pack of cigarettes and trying to cool off. I made the decision I was going in there to stay with her. Not just for me but for Harlie. I don’t deserve someone like her, but she loves me and I love her. I walked back to her room and just sat there, staring at her. The woman I love doesn’t even know I love her. I let her walk out of my house. For what? I was too busy protecting my heart, but if she dies, my heart will be crushed. I will be shattered.

  I sit here and stare, I texted my mom to keep her up to date with everything. She’s coming in the morning. She told me tonight that she loves Emily and I’m a damn fool for letting her go.

  The doctors and nurses have come in quite a few times to check on Emily and took her down for another CT scan. They brought it a cot for me to sleep on, but I didn’t even use it. I just sat in the chair and watched her.

  “Emily, NOOO not again. NO Emily, wake up! You have to stay with me. Emily! NOOO!” I’m shouting over her. Touching her face, begging her to come back to me.

  This time the doctors didn’t even ask me to leave. They know better by now. They start working on her, performing CPR.

  “We need to shock her!” Doctor says. I hear “Charging” “Clear” “Charge again” like four times. Her heart won’t start beating.

  I’m standing here numb. One minute she’s here looking like an angel and the next minute, she became an angel.

  “Time of Death. 1:15am.” The doctor calls it.

  “We’ll give you a few minutes.” He says putting a hand on my shoulder.

  “Emily, why? Why did you have to leave me? Baby Wake up! Please. I love you, I’ll never leave you again. You, me and Harlie together forever. Right?” I say quietly holding her hand, her
cold hand. She’s gone. The love of my life, the girl I have pushed away for months when I should have been holding her. Is gone. Just like that.

  I start to get pissed, “EMILY! Wake up! Jokes over. You need to wake up! You can’t leave me. WAKE UP!” I shout. Nothing. She’s just lying there still and cold. She’s gone. She’s really gone.

  I stay there for hours until they finally told me that I need to leave, I stand up and I give her one last kiss on the forehead, goodbye Emily. I love you so much.

  And I walk out. She’s gone, Emily Grace Hayes is gone and it’s all my fault.

  Sunday - 9am

  I WAKE UP and I have no idea where I am, I look to my right and see Xander sleeping in the chair. “What the hell?” I think to myself. I try to talk but there’s something down my throat. There’s a woman in my room, she looks like a nurse.

  “Emily! You’re awake, Hun.” The woman says. She hits a button and a male comes into the room.

  “Emily I’m Doctor Hill. I’m going to take this tube out of your throat. I need for you to blow a breath when I tell you to. Ok?” I nod my head.

  The doctor pulls the tube out and I start coughing. “What happened to me?” I ask. “Shit. It hurts to talk.” I say to myself.

  The doctor tells me I was in a car accident, and then it all starts coming back to me. Fuck! I told him I loved him and he told me to get out. Fuck! Why is he here? I’m so confused. “Wait, the baby?” I ask the nurse.

  “I’m sorry Hun, you lost the baby.” She says.

  Tears start to flood my eyes and I reach for my stomach. God damn it! The nurse leaves and I start to feel the pain. Broken ribs and a concussion. Fucking lovely, but why is Xander here.

  “Emily!” His eyes shoot open.

  “Xander, I’m right here.” I whisper.

  “Oh my god! Emily, you’re awake.” He smiles and gets up to sit next to me. “I dreamt that you had died on me. Don’t you ever die! You hear me, never!” He says with a panic in his voice.

  “Xander, I’m here. But why are you here?” I ask.

  “Because I love you Emily. I always have and I’m just a dumb fuck who let you get away, but not anymore.” He says and I start to cry. I’m so confused.

  “Can I ask you a question?” I ask him.

  “Anything.”

  “Were you ever going to tell me?”

  “Honestly, yeah. After you left, I went to the spot where I told you I wasn’t right for you and listened to a few songs, then I went to the bar and was talking to the guys they smacked the shit out of me. I was staring at your number when Reese came and got me.”

  I wipe tears from her eyes, “I was headed to Reese and Blake’s. It was at the stop lights by their house when I got hit. She was going to talk me out of going back to Wisconsin I think.”

  “Please don’t Emily. Please stay. I love you.” He kisses me on my forehead.

  I reach up and grab his face. “Don’t just say that because I’m here.”

  “I’m not baby. I’m saying it because I mean it.” He says to me.

  “Good, cuz I really love you and you have my whole heart.”

  “And you have mine Emily. I’m going to prove I’m worthy of your love.” He says with tears coming down his face.

  “Do me a favor?” I ask.

  “Anything.”

  “Hold me.” I say between tears.

  “Anything for you, Baby.” He gets up on my bed and wraps me in his arms. My safe place, my home. I start to close my eyes.

  All of a sudden my hospital room door flies open and a blonde haired woman dressed in jeans and black t-shirt walks in with a tall grey haired man dressed in jeans and a blue polo shirt.

  “Emily!” the woman says.

  “Mom? Dad?” I say. “What are you doing here?” I asked confused.

  “You think we wouldn’t be here? We got here as quickly as we could.” My mother says looking at me and then look at Xander.

  “I’m gonna go give everyone an update.” Xander smiles at me and gives me a kiss.

  “Thanks, Baby. Hurry back, please.” I tell him.

  He walks out of my room and I’m stuck dealing with my parents. Kathy and Hilary are here and so is my brother, Danny.

  “How are you feeling?” My mother asks me. Moving hair out of my face.

  “I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck.” I try to make a joke and laugh. Then I remember I have been hit by a truck and my ribs are broken. “Fuck!” I growl.

  “Well, that serves your right for making jokes like that. I’m being serious Emily. How are you feeling?”

  “Mom, I’m hooked up to all these machines, how do you think I’m feeling? When I start to feel too much pain they gave me this cool button that gives me some kick ass pain medicine.” My parents hate it when I’m a smart ass, but really, what else do I have?

  “Who’s the guy?” My father asks.

  “That’s Xander.” I smile and look over at my sister Kathy. Her eyes got big and have me a thumbs up.

  Got my sister’s approval. I do a little dance in my head.

  “Xander who?” My mother snaps.

  “Someone very special to me. Someone I can’t imagine not having in my life.” I look right at Kathy when I say this.

  She smiles and nods her head at me. The other day she called me to see how things were going, and I told her that I was in love with him, and I was going to tell him, but I was afraid. She told me I had to tell him, so I knew if we had a future, or if I needed to move on.

  My doctor comes in and speaks to my parents, “So when can I go home?” I whisper. My throat still hurts from that damn tube.

  “Emily!” My mother says sternly.

  “What? I’m just asking a question.”

  “Emily, let’s just take it one day at a time. You’ll be here for at least three days, if not more.” Doctor Hill says.

  Fucking lovely. Three or more days here, this is going to suck!

  My hospital room is so blah, grey walls, white floors. There’s a blue loveseat/bed over to the right by a window. There’s about 4 blue chairs in my room as well. Of course you have my wonderful monitors and the bathroom is to my left, but they won’t let me out of bed so I have no idea what it looks like. This room is so depressing and sterile. Yep, this is going to fucking suck.

  “Emily, I wanted to go over the miscarriage with you.” He starts saying and oh fuck, my parents’ face. It was a Kodak moment, and I know I’m going to get reamed for this one.

  “Most women, when they experience a miscarriage they want to know if they’ll be able to conceive again, and I assure you there was no damage done and you’ll be able to conceive and carry children again in the future, if you decide too.” He continues telling me.

  “Fuck!” I say under my breath. “Thanks.” I give him a small smile.

  “I’ll be back in later to check on you. Nurse will be in every two hours to check your vitals. If you need anything, just push the button.” He says.

  “You were PREGNANT?” My father shouts.

  “Yes Dad, I was six weeks along.”

  “And you weren’t going to tell anyone? Whose child was it? Last time I checked, you weren’t with anyone.” He snarl at me. I haven’t heard him this pissed off since he caught me and Danny with pot five years ago.

  “Does it matter who’s baby it was? I only found out last week. So chill.” I snap at him.

  The door opens and it’s Mel. “Oh, you are awake! I didn’t believe Xander when he told me.” She comes running in and hugs me. “Oh my God. Don’t ever do that shit again. You hear me! Don’t! I can’t stand to lose you.” She wipes tears from her eyes.

  “I’ll try not too.”

  “You have a TON of people wanting to see you. You know that, right?”

  “Mom, dad. Can I have a little while with my friends?”

  “Fine, we’re going to go find a hotel and we’ll be back.” My mother snaps and grabs Hilary’s hand and walks out.

  “Oh my God!
Could she be any more of a stuck up bitch?” Mel laughs.

  “Right? Oh, and when they walked in, Xander was holding me. Their faces! It was priceless and when they found out I was “with child.” Holy shit!” I start to laugh and it fucking hurts. Mel and I are both laughing. “It hurts to laugh.” I say in between giggles.

  “Well, maybe you should stop then.”

  “I can’t cuz my parents hate me and they hate Xander. This is going to be hell!”

  “Well, I’m going to cheer you up and I’m going to go let people in to see you.” Mel says.

  Kayla, Flynn, Sam, Billy, Dani and Zack all came by and brought me flowers and balloons, gave me hugs and told me if I needed anything they’re only a phone call away. The girls told me they’ll be here every day to help me get dressed and talk girl shit with me.

  When Reese and Blake walked in, I lost it.

  “I swear to God Emily, you try this shit again, I will kick your ass. You can’t leave me.” Reese says between tears.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be sorry Em, I’m just glad you’re alive. I love you hard! You know that right?” Reese has a hold of my face.

  “I love you hard too. You’re amazing.” I hold back the tears.

  “Blake, thank you. I heard your voice. Thank you for staying with me.” I start to cry.

  Here stands this big guy who’s 6’2” about 2001bs in tears. I don’t think anyone knows that Blake was at the intersection when it happened. I saw him on his bike getting ready to pull out and head to the bar. He was in the ambulance with me.

  “How did you know? You were knocked out.”

  “I was in and out for a while. I knew you were holding my hand and I honestly believe if you wouldn’t have been there, I wouldn’t be here.” He told me Xander loved me and I had to stay with him so he could bring Xander to me.

  “So, are you and Xander? Good?”

  “He’s my heart, I’m not leaving. Not without him.”

  “I’m gonna beat his ass if he doesn’t make you his.” Blake says.

  “Dude, she’s mine. No worries.” Xander says coming in.

  “Good, cuz I’d really hate to have to kick your ass in a hospital.”

  “Hi,” Xander says coming over and kisses me.